MARRIAGE IS…MARRIAGE IS NOT

Every little girl dreams of her big day when she will walk down the aisle to meet her Prince Charming and be united with him before friends and family. From her beautiful wedding dress to her bouquet, her hair and makeup, friends, and family, and of course, her dashingly handsome Prince who will sweep her off her feet. She’s imagined it all! The man on the other hand, has envisioned falling in love with his Miss. Perfect with her ‘banging’ body, charming smile, warm demeanor who will love and nurture him like his mum, bear children, take care of the home and still look hot and sexy for him. As I type this, I am smiling from ear to ear because we’ve all been here at some point in our lives. Now, while these are beautiful things to imagine, allow me to burst your bubble by telling you what Marriage REALLY is about.

God designed marriage as a partnership between one man and one woman. It is a covenant between a man and a woman in the presence of witnesses that mirrors God’s covenant relationship with us, His people. In Malachi 2:14, marriage is described as a holy covenant before God. In the Jewish custom, God’s people signed a written agreement at the time of the marriage to seal the covenant. The marriage ceremony, therefore, is meant to be a public demonstration of a couple’s commitment to a covenant relationship. It’s not the “ceremony” that’s important; it’s the couple’s covenant commitment before God and men (Source).

Dating offers two individuals who are interested in pursuing a deeper friendship, relationship and marriage with each other, an opportunity to assess their suitability and compatibility. Whether you are dating informally or with the intention of marriage, it is important to observe godly principles and ensure that your light continues to shine as a representative of the kingdom of God, pursue righteousness and holiness in secret or in the open, seek godly counsel and wisdom and always rely on the Holy Spirit’s guidance and wisdom in all that you do.

For those who are dating with the intention of marriage or are already in a courtship phase, I would like to share some ideas of what marriage isn’t as you begin to plan to embark on this life-long journey:

• Marriage is NOT a fantasy or a fairytale – as opposed to the ideas we have imagined or seen in the movies, it is a real-life experience between real people with real character, traits and behaviours.

• Marriage is NOT a “walk-in-the-park” – both parties need the grace of God and joint effort to make it work.

• Marriage is NOT temporary, it is a life-time commitment and covenant. When the going gets tough, you need to push through and don’t just opt out at the slightest challenge.

• Marriage is NOT a joke – it is a covenant relationship made before God and witnesses and should be taken very seriously and not lightly.

• Marriage is NOT all there is to life – you were created for a purpose by God and should not wait to get married before you fulfill that purpose. You do not need marriage to feel complete or alive. Find fulfillment in all that you do, whether single or married.

• Marriage is NOT a prison. As opposed to the idea of being caged and trapped by marriage, if done right and according God’s plan, it is beautiful and should allow you the freedom to be you and be loved for who you are NOT the idea of who your spouse expects you to be.

As someone who is married and is involved in supporting couples on their marriage journey, I can testify to the sweetness, awesomeness, and amazing beauty that marriage is. However, it does require having the right mindset, God created marriage and His design is the best, marriage done God’s way never fails, there is a kingdom way of doing marriage. Would you like to learn more about God’s original design for marriage? Please join us for our upcoming couples’ workshop themed – “GROW CLOSER AND STRONGER AS A COUPLE WITH DISC”. Click here for full event details. We look forward to having you.